The Transplant Call....

On February 12th we celebrated Cole bugs first birthday!  We had such a great turnout & Cole had a blast!!  I'm so happy we did it when we did because I got a phone call yesterday (2/13) with tonssss of dates to look forward to for the upcoming weeks....

Lisa, the transplant coordinator, called me yesterday and told me that Cole's date of his transplant has been set for April 8th.  I've been daily telling myself that Cole's fine and I'm mentally ready for this transplant, but that phone call was like a gut shot!  I think the rest of our conversation is a fog to me...ahhh I just kept thinking why Cole...why!  I'd stopped saying & wondering that for awhile but now the thought it back...I just don't understand and I honestly don't think I ever will.

She said that he's going to have to have NUMEROUS blood tests plus a psychology exam, dietician meeting, exam by physical therapy and occupational therapy and SOOOO much more...

The list of things I wrote down have overwhelmed me so I can only guess how they're going to make my little man feel!  She also said that a week before his transplant he'll have to take a medicine called Campath.  She that that this medicine is used for a marrow suppresent.  Also, that after he's going to have to wear a mask everywhere he goes...YIKES...i dont even know what to think about that!  I've tried time and time again to put a mask on him, but he ends up throwing up every time from crying so much!

Dr. Prasad has told me that I need to expect moodiness, sores in his mouth, no appetite and restlessness....I just pray it isn't as bad as I'm imagining!

I know that I say this so much, but I can't wrap my head around it.  I just look at Cole & cannot for the life of me understand how he's sick.  I've even contimplated that possibly I did something wrong while I was pregnant, but the drs. have assured me that I didn't, but I still second guess them too!  Cole is so lively and man is he a sweetheart (ALWAYS a smile on that plump little face!) so I guess that's another reason this is so hard to stomach.

God & I had a long talk last night and numerous times today to just comfort me through this and keep him strong, but me too.  I want to stay everyday with Cole in the hospital and I pray with all my might that I don't get sick so I'd have to leave him.  God knows how much I love Cole.  I've never ever loved something or someone like I love him and I just pray that God doesn't take Cole from me.  There I said it...that's my worry...I don't want him gone.  I want, I need him.  I want to be that parent putting up with the attitude from their 16 year old son.  I want to meet his first girlfriend, I want to bring him to his first day of school & cry because my baby will be growing up.  I just pray that we will get to experience all of that!!!

We've come so far that I just can't imagine that he would back track!  He's just blazing through his VP16 & everything else so I'm just staying positive that he will blaze through all of this that is to come!!!

-Cole's Mommy

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand